That is completely unacceptable!
Accept the unacceptable. You’ve probably heard “That is completely unacceptable!” many times. I had a family member who used this as her mantra—and it is no surprise that she was upset a lot. I understand that sometimes things will be unacceptable, but not everything is.
Our values and beliefs play into this mantra of unacceptability. What is acceptable to me might not be acceptable to you. For example, I really do not like to be around cigarette smoke. I do not like the smell, but some people love it. It is a matter of what we value. I value my health, and I like my clothes to smell good! I also have a huge fear of lung cancer. For me, smoking would be considered unacceptable. But if I were offered a commercial, print ad, or acting role that required me or my character to smoke, I would. Then it would be acceptable.
In my life now, lots of unacceptable things happen, they just do. That’s life! My neighbors threw a party last weekend and kept me up until two in the morning. It was rude and unacceptable, but guess what? They do not do it all the time, so I gave them a pass. Maybe they were celebrating something special.
Before we jump to a conclusion that something is totally unacceptable, let’s do some investigating. In this case, I had to ask myself (in my frustration of not being able to sleep) a series of questions to just accept the situation. Do they do this every night? No. If they did this behavior every night, then, in fact, it would be unacceptable. I also tried to take a look at why I was feeling that way. Why was I so bothered by this, and most importantly, will it really be important five years from now?
Strong judgments, in my experience, lead to unhappy people. Why? Because when things or people do not act in an acceptable way, which, believe me, happens nine out of ten times, we will end up frustrated and resentful, or worse, not happy. Acceptance is really the answer.
Accept what is without some label or judgment. He is not always this way, and she will not always behave that way.
For me, when I think something is really unacceptable, I ask important, telling questions:
- Is this true?
- Why is this unacceptable to me?
- Is it really unacceptable?
- Can I choose to accept what is?
- Is this putting me in any danger?
Accept the unacceptable
It is important to have questions to ask yourself the minute or the second you think (keyword, think) something is unacceptable. It most likely is something you are avoiding in yourself and a judgment you are making. Asking questions is good as it slows down my mind, keeps me in the present, and requires me to remember to stay on my side of the street. It is so much easier to accept the unacceptable than to try to make any type of point or argument about it. Everything is exactly as it should be. Learn to accept it!