Stay in Your Lane

Are you perfect? Have you made mistakes? Do you know your part in the situation? Are you adding value? Are you an example of pure happiness? Are you talking badly about others? Do you put people down to make yourself feel better? Are you living a positive existence? Are you forgiving? Do you lead by example? Do you stay in your lane?

These questions sound simple but are not easy to answer. More importantly, it is not easy to face the truth. There is a saying, “How you feel about me is none of my business!” I would like to take this a step further. How you feel about someone is none of anyone’s business, especially if it is negative. If you have nothing good to say, keep your mouth shut. You are the one drinking the poison. You are putting out negative energy, and that is what you will get in return. I take this point to the extreme these days. If I do not like or find fault with any person, place, or thing, I keep it to myself. I practice controlling where my focus goes.

As Tony Robbins says, “Where your focus goes, your energy flows.” I have sat through many of Tony’s seminars, and this statement has stayed with me. Why? Because it is true. Where my focus goes, there goes my energy. It takes so much energy to be upset or disappointed. Even worse, it takes a huge amount of energy to prove your side of the story. Instead, why not stay in your lane? Stay on your side of the street. Ask yourself, Do I need to be right, or do I need to be happy? You have a choice. Being right or winning an argument is not winning. Stay out of the past! You are not winning if you are trapped in old stories. Let that shit go.

Let That Shit Go

You are not perfect. None of us are. I have made some horrible mistakes in my life. Here is what I know to be true at age fifty-eight: my past does not equal my future. Every moment in this life is a chance to change and grow. If you are reliving stories from the past, you are not growing. You are living in your own bitterness and bringing everyone down around you when you continue to tell the same stories to prove a point that has dissipated and is now dust. The past is over. You cannot bring it back, even when you retell a story that upsets you. You are letting that energy back into your body.

Nobody cares! I was with someone recently who brought up an issue from the past in a way to make me feel bad—something that happened around 2008. I could hardly remember the details, and I am at a place where I do not feel the need to argue about events from the past. Instead of arguing my position (I do not have a position), I just kept saying, “How do you know?” or “Is this really true?” Here is the point: nothing good will ever come from making someone feel bad. My whole goal in life is different from the one I had in 2008 or even one year ago. If I am truly set on my purpose, I cannot let the past dictate how my life will be. Plus, I made the decision to be happy. I let go of the need to be right. Even if I know in my heart I am right, it is low on my list of values. I’ve redefined my goals, and I want to stay in my new lane.

Staying in Your Lane Is Hard

My journey is about self-love. It is about peace and calm. Stay in your lane and focus on your side of the street. If you feel the need to put someone down or speak poorly about someone, I can promise you this: the smart people in your life will see right through you and feel sorry for you. They will wonder why you feel the need to speak so poorly about someone else. They will also see someone who is insecure and needs to be validated and win at any cost, even if that involves hurting someone else. Choose your words wisely. They may come back to bite you in the ass.

I catch myself not staying in my lane all the time. I notice when I’m inserting myself where I do not need to be. Awareness is key. Growth is everything. When that friend brought up the past and gave me their details of the situation, I just responded with love and said, “I do not live there anymore.” Here is why this is so important: I came home and wrote about it! I got all my feelings out on paper. As I riffed and complained and judged on paper, the whole situation became funny to me. I could see how ridiculous it was without arguing back or trying to make my point. I took my emotions home and wrote about them instead. Some people meditate, hike, work out, drink, or just sweep their feelings under the rug. I believe if you want a rich life filled with peace and purpose, stay in your lane—no matter what.

The language we use, how we speak about others, and where we try to insert ourselves is a reflection on us, not them. Listen to your words; hear the language you use. If you believe like I do in the universe and energy, then be careful what you put out. That energy is coming back even faster toward you. Ask yourself, do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right? It is that simple. For me, I want to be happy, and I want the people around me to be even happier. Let that shit go! You have nothing to prove, even if you are right. Stay in your lane!

Deborah Driggs

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