Struggles Are Gifts
Could you ever imagine that our struggles are gifts? The joy is in the climb. Many athletes say what they miss most when their career is over is the training and structure involved in getting to the top of their game. I believe this.
I Didn’t Used to See Struggles as Gifts
When I focus only on the result and not the process, I’m setting myself up for failure. Most of us want the reward and not the struggle. However, the whole game in life is to enjoy the struggle. Happiness, which grows from problems, requires struggle. Problems are good! None of us are going to go through life not having them. They are inescapable.
Dealing with problems was not something I was good at. I like everything neat. I would thrive in certainty and fall apart when a situation did not go my way. This reminds me of the 1980 Academy Award–winning film Ordinary People, directed by Robert Redford. When I watched it, I related to the mom, played by Mary Tyler Moore. She could not handle struggles, problems, or life’s horrible accidents, which included the death of her older son. I felt her character’s pain. Her life became messy and uncomfortable, and she was in deep denial, which affected everyone around her because she could not handle the struggle. This brilliant movie certainly deserved the Best Picture Award.
Emotions are a part of life, but they do not last! What made us happy last week may not make us happy the next. We should question our emotions—daily even. Are they true? Are they real? What are we doing to feed them? What are we doing to make them better? Sometimes we make them worse because we do not want to deal with them.
Struggles are gifts. We are not here on this planet to just live in bliss and not struggle. Sorry if that is harsh for you to read, but it is the truth. We will have to deal with outrageous problems, death, sickness, pandemics, depressions, and everyday struggles that will pop up.
Read about Other People’s Struggles as Gifts!
Success comes from struggle. That’s why I enjoy reading autobiographies. They typically include stories on how the authors overcame struggles and how they dealt with problems. Success leaves clues.
Artists know they will struggle while climbing the mountain to get to their creative peak. Musicians and actors are aware that the road ahead will be difficult and they will have to sacrifice a lot to get to the top. They will do jobs they will not love, spend hours practicing, and work at keeping their creative juices flowing. They know that a day off doesn’t exist in this maniacal pursuit of being the best. When we read about what some might call overnight successes, we actually learn about the years that went into creating these spectacular end results.
This is also true in business. Some people take their dream job only to climb the corporate ladder and deal with the problems that come with the job. Then there are the ones who have the drive to climb quicker. They choose the struggle.
I have yet to read a story about someone who had major success without the climb and struggle. From CEOs, actors, Olympic athletes, musicians, and even politicians, they did not wake up with these gifts and no grit. If you know of such a story, please share it with me!
Don’t Set Yourself Up for Disappointments
As I said earlier, I was not good at seeing struggles as gifts. I thought life was a party to be enjoyed without experiencing any downsides! This way of looking at life was immature. I wanted it neat and tidy with a white picket fence and the perfect partner, job, kids, clothes, sex, you name it. I thought it should all be perfect and filled with so much happiness. Life does not work this way.
Today I embrace and question my struggles and my emotions. I have quite a different perspective. Life is not all daisies and rainbows. Some days are going to just suck, and that is okay. The dark clouds will not last. That is why I removed always and never from my vocabulary. People and things are not always a certain way, and when people say, “That will never happen,” I say that never is a strong word. Stuff happens. Be careful using strong words and putting the potential out there for disappointment when it does happen!
Donald Trump is a perfect example; many people said, “He will never be president.” And when he won the election, many felt a huge disappointment. Setting ourselves up for disappointment is also a life struggle. We are not always going to get our way. We will not always get our choice. We will lose sometimes, and that is when growth takes place.
I was disappointed to see people shutting down when Trump won. I thought, “Wow! What have we become when people cannot lose and take on a new struggle?” For me, this moment offered a chance to reflect and climb, not shut down. We are here to disagree—that’s why we vote! Remember this: our struggles determine our success.
Embrace Your Struggles as Gifts
We are not going to have a pain-free life, so get over it! Embrace the pain. Embrace the struggle. Struggles are gifts. Accept them. They are temporary and a part of life.
We all have underlying stuff that can cause problems or unhappiness. Then we might want to numb out or avoid it. But in the end, until we really look at what is causing the pain, it can get worse. Emotions can sometimes be overrated as well. That’s why writing down your thoughts, experiences, and feelings is so important. Ask questions, get curious, get out of denial. We all have pain, emotions, struggles, and heartbreak. This is part of the life we live in. The goal is to question all of it and see where it comes from.
This too shall pass. Believe it! Stay with me and anyone else who helps you along on your journey! We are here to support each other.
