Brokenness Is Beautiful
Hi to all my beautiful souls. I came across this quote by author and therapist Shannon L. Alder and have to share it with you: “There is no perfection, only beautiful versions of brokenness.” Brokenness is beautiful.
Finding Beauty in the Broken
I suffer terribly from wanting to be perfect. It is a curse. But I often find that beauty is in the brokenness. I was watching an episode of Chef’s Table on Netflix a few years ago in which Massimo Bottura, the owner of Osteria Francescana in Modena, Italy, created a new dessert after a tart fell on the counter and broke into pieces. It became a beautiful dish in his dinner course. At one time, his restaurant was ranked the best in the world.
Bottura has a great sense of humor when it comes to mistakes. I was fortunate to have eaten at this world-famous restaurant a few times and met the chef. When I saw that show, I was immediately pulled toward his sense of humor and how he did not take himself too seriously. His worldview even made me want to travel to Italy and experience his three-hour dining experience!
I now practice lightening up and not taking everything so seriously. These last two years have been filled with loss, deaths of family members, sickness, and the pain that comes with being human. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice. I felt the pain from the sad events and deaths, but I choose not to suffer. We can instead find the joy and love in everything, even death.
The other day, I was scheduled to be a guest on an episode of Scott H. Silverman’s Happy Hour Podcast. Ten minutes before we started, I got a text saying that my uncle had died. An incredibly sad feeling came over me. I thought to myself, “What would I want people to do if I left my body and I was all done living? I would want them to continue on their journey and be of service and love more, be more, do more!” So I did the show and never mentioned what was going on because the podcast was about being happy. The host wanted to help anyone who suffers from trauma and addiction.
I love what I do. I get to be of service even in the most inconvenient times. As the saying goes, “The show must go on,” and so must life. I was able to recenter and call my family and be of service to them too. We are all here to walk each other home, to be of love and service.
Be Grateful for the Brokenness
Stop for a moment today and just be grateful for this precious life. I added a new step to my morning routine. I wake up and say, “Good morning, God. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” It does not matter your religious beliefs. You could say, “Good morning, Universe.” Just wake up in gratitude. When you start your day feeling grateful, you tend to not get upset about other details.
Don’t have any expectations of anyone or anything; that just sets us up for disappointment. Embrace pure gratitude that everything is happening as it should. The brokenness is beautiful and fascinating. Accept it all—the good, the bad, and the ugly. We are all not perfect. We are all here to live our lives differently. There is no right or wrong way, so stop judging everything. Stop comparing, stop doing tit for tat. Just be. Watch who you are and how you behave.
Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have. We never know what someone is going through. Read that several times today, and let it marinate. Be kind. Be gentle. Someone out there could be contemplating their last breath. Some people may find it difficult to do anything anymore because of the fear of being judged or not doing it right, so they shut down completely. And that is such a shame.
Lift people up. Tell them, “Hey, I know it gets tough. You’re doing a great job today.” Stop telling yourself or others any of these:
- “You didn’t do this.”
- “You should have done that.”
- “It’s too late.”
- “You don’t care.”
- “You never call.”
- “You always do this.”
- “You never do that.”
- “Everyone should . . .”
This kind of language gets us nowhere. It keeps us in victim mode and in anger and pain. Why? Because we have expectations of other people. But guess what? They might not be capable of doing otherwise at that moment.
I like to say, “It sure would be nice if you would call more. I love hearing your voice,” instead of “You never call me.”
We are here to support each other, not tear each other down. I ask people, especially when I can hear pain, anger, or fear in their voice, “How can I support you?”
We Are All Broken and Beautiful
The irony is people have a hard time with these three words: “I need help.” They instead expect to get help without asking for it. I have friends whom I would never have to ask for help and others who need a little prompting, such as, “Hey, can you support me on this?” Neither is better than the other; just remember that not everyone is on the same playing field.
At the end of the day, the only way to get out of your pain is to be of service. Just dive in. Start volunteering. Do not just write a check. Actually volunteer no less than three hours a week. Do it and watch how your life will change!
Brokenness is beautiful because we are not so separate. We come here with nothing and we leave with nothing. (Though it’d be nice to leave with some sort of a legacy, even if that’s someone saying something positive about our life and how we contributed.) Use your brokenness to serve someone else who is broken. We rise up together! I love all you broken souls.
