Building Harmony

There is a new vibration happening—can you feel it? We are building harmony. I feel this exciting energy all around me. We are shifting, and it all starts with our language.

Building Harmony with Language

I was recently thinking about all the mistakes I made when my kids were young. I went down memory lane not to beat myself up but to reflect and grow. I can remember starting sentences with “I need you to . . .” a lot, such as “I need you to get your homework done” or “I need you to set the table.”

I now realize how no one feels supported, not even the person barking out the commands. At the end of the day, it is not what we say but how we make people feel.

In this case, it was how I made my kids feel. It would have been great to say, “I would really appreciate your support” or “I need help in getting ready for dinner.” This is called building harmony!

The art of teamwork is prevalent these days. Everything is moving so fast and coming at us from every direction. Change happens quickly, and kids are moving at a faster pace and are struggling to keep up. It’s no surprise that prescription drugs and conditions such as ADD and ADHD are on the rise. Humans are moving so fast and not taking the time to build harmony or be in flow.

We should want to aspire to being of service to our family, friends, and people who need help. This is teamwork at its finest. We shouldn’t be living on a higher dimension, yelling out commands and expecting our kids to do whatever we say. No one wants to feel defeated. Our true nature is to help and be of service.

Building Harmony as a Mom

The language we use is crucial to building strong, confident kids. Luckily for me, I was open and willing to try just about anything when my kids were young. Some parenting tips I got worked, and some were horrible ideas. No parent wakes up and thinks, “How can I make my child suffer today?” But unfortunately, we can cause suffering without even knowing it.

I was a fairly open-minded mom. I did not think that my way was the only way. I was teachable. But frustration would get the best of me, and I would end up yelling or commanding my kids to do certain things, which of course just made it worse.

My kids, who are now adults, like to remind me of the mistakes I made as a parent. What is beautiful is that I know I made a lot of mistakes and I am willing to work on this stuff even today. I can see how crucial this is, and I am aware of the fact that when I was deep in it, I had no road map or value system.

Even Things Out to Build Harmony

As I took this moment to reflect and feel grateful that my three adult children have grown into amazing, creative, loving souls, I decided to also look at some of the things I did right.

We need to do this more! Think of one thing you are proud of, and pat yourself on the back. Giving ourselves credit for doing good can be hard sometimes. If you are going to beat yourself up over all the mistakes you have made, then you have to do the same amount of praising for the good. We are building harmony. In order to have harmony, we have to even out the bad with the good.

Building Harmony with Positive Language

Today I am able to use very different language with my adult children. Now I say things like “I am so honored and inspired by you,” and then I give them examples. It is never too late to change our language and put systems into place that work. If you read my last blog post “Stay in Your Lane,” this idea goes hand in hand with its message. Our language is so important—not just in how we speak to others but how we speak of others.

My goal is to make my kids feel good, not bad. The more confidence they can get from me, the better. Harmony is created, and teamwork is being built one brick at a time. It does not happen overnight. Practice is key. Catch yourself and the language you are using. Change it immediately. It is never too late to build a happy system.

I am way more patient today than I was when my kids were little. I sit on issues and try to see them from a different perspective and use different language. I want the vibration in my home to be a vibration of love and connection. Today I ask questions such as “Is this helping or hurting the situation?” My response is quite different nowadays, coming instead from a place of total love. My kids and I are not perfect. We are growing and building and supporting each other along the way.

Build Your Space for Harmony

Being present is at times difficult for me. I can easily get distracted. Working from home also makes it difficult as I can get pulled in different directions. To offset this, I set aside time in my morning routine before going into work mode to remind myself that I want to be loving and kind and use language I will not regret later. The last thing I want to do is make someone feel bad from something I said. I set my intention to remember my purpose and create harmony. Then, I light a candle, put on binary or meditative healing music, and open windows and doors to let light and life in. Doing this helps me stay focused on my intention and purpose. It also makes it harder to be upset in this atmosphere.

Create your space to succeed. If you are waking up and immediately turning on the news, you’re going to see the world’s mostly bad or fake news. Instead, create your own news. Turn off the news for a week, and instead listen to some soft music, light a candle, and think about how you want the day to go. This time in the morning is special to me. If my kids are over, they will get up, open the house up, and light a candle or incense too. When you create new rituals and change your energy, the people you love will take notice. Building harmony starts with you first. Build harmony within yourself, and the energy is contagious.

Speak from Love

Speak from love. You will be supported and attract joy and connection. Be of service. Do not give up. Flow will come. It took me a long time to get in flow with my kids. We had our ups and downs. I look at the good and bad and reflect on how incredibly beautiful it is that I can continue on this path and use all these tools as a grandparent. It is never too late to grow and vibrate on much higher level.

More importantly, share with your kids and family members how you are honored and inspired by them. Tell them! Do not wait until Thanksgiving when you go around the table and share what you are grateful for. I love this tradition, but I secretly wish we did it more often. If you are like me, sometimes I cannot find the words unless I am writing, so write in a card how you are inspired by this person. They will appreciate this more than you will know. Praise your kids as much as possible, find things they are doing right!

I appreciate all of you, and I am so inspired every time I receive a note or comment. I cannot tell you how it is such an honor to serve and help. You all help me to stay inspired and create, so thank you!

If you’d like to see me cover a specific topic, go to my Instagram account and share in a comment what you would like me to write about!

PS: Photo taken at “The Ranch” Christmas 2017
Deborah, Kevin, Madeline, & Dylan